January 4, 2009

Secret Snowflake 2008

*Garwin returns from a semester in Italy
Sarah: Did you get high over there?
Garwin: Only twice! Once in Milan and four times in Amsterdam!

*playing The Coin Game*
Question: Who's paid for services?
Dima: Well, I paid for someone to come and clean my house, is that a service?
Maria: No...sexual services!
Clayton: She probably came dressed in a maid's outfit, huh Dima?


New Year's Eve 2009 (or relating to NYE)

Everyone: Garwin! The music's too loud! We can't hear each other talk.
Garwin: Then talk louder!

*on Sharon hanging out with Jon, the guy she got really mad at but reconciled with
Jennifer: What?! She gets mad at him AND gets a date?!

*Unfortunately, NYE was not all fun and games. Irene ended up in the hospital drunk...(She's okay now!) and the nurses said she was a handful...LOL So just to be clear, I'm not an evil person laughing at Irene's misfortunes...I am laughing WITH her.

Katie: Okay, come on Irene...let's cross the street now.
Irene: I can't...go without me!

*Irene is on the floor. People on the streets (strangers) are helping Allan and Katie pick Irene up. Allan reaches over and grabs a body part.
Random guy helping Irene: Dude...why is your hand on my waist?

Doctor: What is your name?
I: Jenna Lee.
D: Your friends said that your name is Irene.
I: No. It's Jenna Lee. Fuckin' Jenna Lee.

D: When's your birthday?
I: May something...

D: What year is it?
I: 2008

Nurse: *to Sharon* Is she pregant?
S: No, she's not.
Nurse: *to Irene* Are you pregnant?
I: NO! I'M NOT PREGNANT! I"M NOT PREGNANT! I'M NOT PREGNANT (for 2 minutes straight)
Nurse: Okay, I got it.

*while taking her catscan
I: Excuse me...I think I need to throw up. (Irene leaned over the table and she actually does!!)

and finally, the most hilarious thing ever.
*Skinny Indian doctor helps Irene onto the bed
Irene: Thanks Chiraag.